I had an old friend from college visiting from out of town this weekend. We had a blast, just hanging out, reminiscing, and hitting the town a little. Very fun, and it was awesome to see her. She is not horsey -- none of my close friends are -- but I was still kind of excited about taking her to the barn and showing her Marve. I emailed her before she came to visit, explaining that I had to go out and ride him once during the weekend to exercise him, so was she cool with coming out with me? She never responded to that email, but since we both tend to get caught up in our day jobs and don't write back right away, I didn't think much of it.
But then when she was here, it became apparent she had no interest at all in joining me. I ended up going to the stable alone once to ride Marve while she just hung out in my apartment.
I was disappointed, I admit it. The situation also reminded me that as awesome as she is, and even though we always have so much fun together, if something doesn't interest or concern her directly, she won't have anything to do with it. And that annoyed me.
It wasn't like I was asking her to spend four hours at the stable with me. I told her it was a 10 minute drive, tops, then I'd ride for 45 minutes, and then we could go. But she still didn't muster up the interest to join me. I can think of many non-horsey, out-of-town friends of mine who would love to come out to the barn and watch me ride Marve. No, horses might not be their passion, but they are my friends and they would genuinely like to have a glimpse at one of my hobbies. Just like I might know nothing about fencing, karate, pottery making, etc., but if I had a chance to watch one of my friends in action in that sort of hobby -- for a measly 45 minutes -- I'd love it. It would let me get to know my friends a little bit more in a new way.
But you can't force someone to be interested in something, and it's better she hung out at home instead of coming along and moping, I suppose. Plus, she cleaned my whole kitchen while I was gone, including all the greasy remnant of our failed tofu experiment from the night before. So I really can't complain.
When I came home and saw the sparkling kitchen, it somehow reminded me of when we were in college and a lot of people on campus got the idea that we were a couple, partly because we were always together and partly because we went to some gay/lesbian alliance meetings to support a few of our friends. So when I came home to my apartment, I joked with her that it's too bad we're both boring heterosexuals, because otherwise we'd have an awesome relationship: I'd go horseback riding and come home to find that she had done all the domestic chores!
Ah, well. I am very content with my SO, who is completely unhorsey but still listens to me blabber on about my riding without letting on how bored he is. And he sometimes comes to the stable, and he also offered to be my assistant -- as much as he can -- at the schooling show next month if I enter. So I guess I have it pretty good. It just disappoints me my friend had zero interest in something that makes me so excited.
Oh, and my kitchen is dirty again, by the way. Darn it.
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2 comments:
I hear ya, Mae. I have only one friend who is horsey and I chat with her on the phone at least three times a week to get my technical horse nerding-out out of the way.
But I am lucky in that my SO is horsey and pretty darn good rider. We spot each other and help out at shows. I couldn't do it alone. As evidenced by my blog, I need to talk about every little minutia of Brego and our training to someone and only a small percentage gets cleaned up enough to make it to the blog.
But my SO did not start out horsey so there is hope for your husband/SO/hottie man. The secret to my success was buying a second horse so we could ride together. Sharing one horse was just not going to work.
Anyway, you are also making good horsey friends through the blog and sometimes I just email my readers/friends and talk horses with them since not many people in my Other Life, including the rest of my family, really understand. They are supportive, but don't get horses much at all.
That is precisely the reason that I like being at a bigger barn. We have 61 horses at the place that I board and ride and we have the whole spectrum of riders and abilities to beginners to advanced to little kids and adults and everything in between. I like to think I'm friends with everyone there and we are like a little family and support each other in whatever level we may ride. Especially when we show and maybe even show against each other, it doesn't feel like that. We all support one another and are always out to have a good course and ride regardless of the placing or ribbons. For example we have the Maine Medal Finals in less than two weeks and there are 4 of us adults riding in the same division and we all have different horses and are at different riding levels. We all root for each other and give pointers. I love it.
I have very few horsesy friends for the fact that I am rarely not at the barn. I have friends at work who olisten to all of my horse stories and they even came to see me marshall the races at the fair last week. But other than that, my roomate has a horse at the barn I ride at and most of my friends are "horse people." we're a breed apart and understand each other.
It's too bad your friend couldn't be a little more supportive of you. My family is like that, it's a big job for them to attend one show a year. We can't change people, but we also need to do what makes us happy. I hope that you make some friends at this new place and someone you can ride with and talk to.
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