Before the Veggies Go Bad

Someone needs to come over here to smack me upside the head and teach me how to make a decision. I had a truly awesome ride on Mae last night. Plus, she was extra adorable and loving. I think the girl has caught on that the Bringer of Carrots is on her way out the door. Poor thing. But our ride went so well -- balanced, collected canter, a nice extended trot, and even a spook-free walk on the little trail. It was so much fun. Once again I find myself wondering how we'd do if we could ride in a real ring, like the ones at Other Barn. Then I started daydreaming about Mae's owner letting me do a free lease, but I quickly killed those fantasies because board at Other Barn costs a million dollars a month and there is no grass turnout. Darn it.

So in case you can't tell, I still haven't made a decision regarding when exactly to stop this lease. Before my ride yesterday I was tempted to stop at the end of July, but now I'm thinking, what's another few weeks of driving out there if they are my last weeks? So maybe I'll pay for half of August. Then, if on the off chance the Marve thing doesn't work out, I can pay for the second half of August, too.

Of course, I lucked out last night because the outdoor ring was available while the indoor one was "out of service." If the outdoor ring is unavailable the next time I ride, I might rethink my exit date.

Daun's recent post about priorities has me thinking. Should I ride tonight, or should I spend that time writing and cooking before my veggies go bad? Hmmm, that sounds like a metaphor to me! Anyway, I'm kind of leaning toward riding.

Speaking of writing, I haven't talked about it much on this blog. I am a fiction writer. I've had some short stories published and have won a fairly major award and other less-major awards. I say this not to puff myself up but as a way to validate myself as a writer because it is freaking hard for me to do that at this time in my life, when I focus more on my day job than my own writing. A lot of people, including some in the publishing industry, had high hopes for me a few years ago and I feel I haven't delivered. To add to all that, I've been in kind of a Dark Period writing-wise lately; totally stuck and unable to get into anything. Until this weekend! Suddenly the gates have opened and all is well. I've been in a much, much better mood because that is what happens when I actually write fiction.

During the last year it's been difficult to me to find out where horses fit into this. It's hard enough working full time and then also trying to find the energy and creativity to write a novel, but throwing horses into the mix makes it worse. I definitely try to do too much at once. But I firmly believe I can find a way to make it work. Hey, I rode last night, then wrote, then woke up early this morning and wrote a little more. And I might ride tonight. So I can do it. I am Writer/Corporate Employee/Equestrian, hear me roar! Or sob. One of the two.