How I came to be a re-rider

I was fortunate enough to be born to a mother who was absolutely horse crazy. She didn’t start riding until after she had all her kids, but she jumped right in by taking lessons, making friends with horsey people, etc. She bought first one horse and then another. Some of my earliest memories are hanging around the stable with her and getting pony rides on this adorable, shaggy white pony.

When I was about 6, I started taking private lessons. After a few years of that, we moved our two horses to a different boarding stable that didn’t offer a lesson program, so I set about riding the older mare, who eventually became my horse. I rode her into my teens, just pleasure riding, trails, bareback, etc, nothing fancy. We moved around to various boarding stables and I occasionally took a lesson on a different horse for some more experience. I still rode and loved horses during my high school years, but my degree of horse craziness waned slightly.

Then, as I got ready for college, two things happened: my horse became lame and we retired her from riding, and then my mother died. I was 18, about to start college halfway across the country, I had lost my mother, and now I had full responsibility of two horses.

I left the retired mare at the current stable, where she received excellent care and spent her last days grazing happily in a pasture. “Getting rid” of her was never an option. I knew even then that as an older, unrideable horse, there weren’t many options for me to provide for her. I did look into retirement boarding places, but the board I was currently paying was low enough for me to leave her there under care I already trusted.

But that left me with my mom’s horse, a 12-year-old mare in good condition. I was off to college and couldn’t ride her, so I thought the best thing to do would be to sell her to someone who could use her. I remember thinking I could put her up for sale for about $1,000 – she was a great horse but had some kinks in her training, so I wasn’t expecting to get a ton of money for her. What mattered most was that she got a good home, but my brain was so addled by grief and life changes that I was totally lost. If, for example, a random woman gave me a sob story about how she loved my horse and wanted to use her for 4-H, I might have given her away for free, thinking she’d get a good home. It would never have occurred to me that someone would try to get a healthy, usable horse to sell it for meat.

All I can say is thank God that a relative asked if she could take the mare. This person could give my mom’s horse all the love, attention, riding, and even training she needed. This relative still has the horse today. I’ve visited her several times and I’m so relieved the horse went to someone I trust.

So I was off to college. One of the reasons I chose the school was because it had an equestrian club, but you know what? I never joined. I never even went to the stable during my 4 years of college. I write this now with a sense of disbelief – why didn’t I ride?? – but I suppose part of my grieving process meant distancing myself from the biggest thing my mother and I shared. And I guess that I’ve only recently been ready to go back to that.

In the dozen years or so that I stopped riding, I know I never stopped loving it, or loving horses. On a grand total of 3 occasions during this time, while on vacation, I went on guided trail rides. That wasn’t really riding, of course, but I guess it’s telling I managed to squeeze something horse-related into my life somehow.

And then, last year, I suddenly decided I needed to take riding lessons again. (Enter the young kids who ride circles around me and my realization I’m not as good as I thought I was.) And now I’m leasing Mae. It seems like I’m on the path to being fully immersed in horses again, and I’m glad. It feels right. So here I am.

I’m going out of town, so I won’t be posting for the next few days. Have a lovely week and some lovely rides!