I haven't been to the barn in more than a week because I went on a short vacation (yay!) and then promptly got bogged down with work, errands, and one serious cold. I might not make it there tomorrow, either, considering that I spent most of today spacing out at work and not doing the million things that need to get done. So I'll probably make up for that by being extra productive tomorrow.
Since it's been 10 days or whatever since I saw Mae, it's starting to feel almost unreal that I'm leasing her or that I was riding so regularly. The time off has reminded me of a few things: One, it's now mid-July and the summer will be over before I know it. I will have to make a choice very soon about starting a lease on that horse at Other Barn (a few girls are interested, the last I heard, and while I'm uncertain about the lease I feel this intense jealousy when I see someone else riding him!). I also don't know what's going on with Mae. I haven't talked to her owner, who is out of the country and probably won't be in touch for at least a month or more. For all I know she will want me to carry on with Mae into the fall. Or she'll want to sell Mae.
The other thing is money. The horse at Other Barn will cost more than twice the amount of Mae's lease (yet it will mean WAY less driving and gas). So aghg I don't know what to do. Decision making is not my strength. Can you tell?
As far as money goes, and don't hate me when I say this, but I'm in a pretty fortunate situation. I'm not rich by a long shot, but I'm really not hurting in the financial department. My SO and I live way below our means. We live in a teeny tiny place, share a car (with no car payment) but don't drive very often (minus, ahem, me driving to Mae's stable) because we can both take public transportation to work, we don't have kids or credit card debt or a mortgage or any other big, pressing expenses. Right now, I'm doing fine and can afford a lease. I could technically afford a horse of my own, but part of the reason I'm reluctant to do that is because I'm pretty careful about money and don't know for sure I'll always be this fortunate. The economy is kicking the crap out of my industry, and no matter how often I am assured my job is safe, I know there is a possibility that if things get even worse, in a year or so my job might disappear. Or my old car might break down and I'll need to buy a new one. And so on.
Most terrifying of all, my SO and I have been toying with the idea of the big M (marriage -- eek!) which honestly is not something I ever thought I'd go in for, but there is a chance it might actually happen. We are kind of low-key, almost bohemian folk (again, living below our means) so if we did get hitched it wouldn't be a fancy, black tie affair in a reception hall. We'd either elope or throw a casual party, but that would still cost money. I have recently decided that getting married at a stable would be pretty cool. I can just imagine guests in party dresses walking around piles of horse turds in the indoor arena, ha ha. But seriously. Ever been to a barn wedding? I'd love to hear stories.
Anyway, I guess recently I've been uncertain about the future. Job, SO, even whether we might move somewhere far away. So that makes it a no-brainer for me to not get my own horse, and now I wonder whether I should even put up the money for another lease.
Aw, hell. I know I will. Until I become really strapped for cash I'm sure I'll lease some horse. I just don't know whether it will remain Mae or a different one.
In the meantime, I'm off to google barn weddings and see how guests react to being forced to sit on bales of hay. Good times.
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