Full Circle

I feel like my lessons at Other Barn have, in a sense, come full circle. When I first signed up for the group lessons there last year, they didn't give me a test ride but instead asked me a bunch of questions about my riding history. Based on my answers, the fact that I grew up riding and owned a horse, my schedule, etc. they put me in one of the most advanced group classes they had. I had years of riding experience and could hold my own, so no sweat, right?

Reality check! I had a really rough start. I was super rusty, had forgotten a lot of simple things, and was just plumb out of practice. I guess I thought hopping back on a horse after taking more than a decade off from real, serious riding (minus a string of a half dozen lessons about 5 years ago and the occasional vacation trail ride) wouldn't be that hard and that everything would come back. Lesson #1 in humility!

That first ride was hard. Besides being physically and mentally challenging, it was humiliating. These kids were riding circles around me (figuratively and literally, when I had to pull to the inside of the ring because I was having trouble and needed to get out of their way) and I felt I was holding up the entire class. I felt horrible, and worst of all, it wasn't even fun. I actually counted down how many of these prepaid lessons I'd have to endure before the session would be over and I could go back to not riding.

But it got better. Sure, in the beginning I still had a rough time and felt I didn't belong in the class, and was embarrassed I was riding so poorly when I knew I'd once been capable of so much more, but I did improve. Soon, I started to have fun, and I even looked forward to the lesson every week instead of praying for it to be over. And by the end of that session of classes, I even felt I deserved to be in one of the advanced classes. I told my instructor I was fine if she felt I should move down a level, but she encouraged me to stick with it and so I stayed with the advanced riders for my second session. And for my third. Things were looking up.

But now, based on a schedule change on my part, I moved to another class. It's still advanced (or intermediate/advanced) and for the most part, there's not much of a difference except that we don't jump as much (which does make me kind of sad). Now, however, we have a couple new riders in this class who are not as experienced as the rest of us. They've really struggled, one girl in particular, and I see so much of myself last year in her now. She gets frustrated, surely feels embarrassed for messing up or riding poorly, sometimes has to pull the horse in the center and let us ride around her, feels bad for holding us up, etc.

The only difference is that last year, when I went through that rough patch and wasn't having fun, the other girls in the class didn't offer me any encouragement or even a kind word. I felt like I was totally on my own. So I've made an effort to speak to this girl, tell her when I notice she did something well, or just ask her questions about how it's going, how the ride was, etc. I notice she tends to kind of blame the horse for her problems. I admit to doing this last year, too, thinking "If only they wouldn't keep assigning me the difficult horses!" until I finally had to wise up and accept it was my issue, not the horse's.

I hope she starts having fun in class soon. I also hope she gets her riding muscles back ASAP, because those first few times back in the saddle made for some VERY painful next days, ha. But mostly I believe that if she sticks with it and works on her riding, she can improve, just like I did.