Take my stirrups and reins – please!

So yesterday I was riding Mae and we were off to a good start. I actually felt really secure and steady in the saddle. Mae was responsive, had her head down and on the bit, and seemed happy to work with me. I was thrilled. I thought, maybe I’ve been too hard on myself. We’re doing just fine.

Fast forward twenty minutes later, when Mae was rushing around the ring with her head up in the air, flicking her face toward every noise, bird, etc. Her focus just went out the window and suddenly it was like 2pm on the last day or school or something. Sigh.

I keep telling myself that every ride, every opportunity to work her, is a step in the right direction. Before I started leasing Mae, she spent a lot of time standing around her stall, bored and unused. Her owner was very consumed with her job and probably only rode Mae an average of once every two weeks. Mae is only turned out every other day, and usually only for several hours at a time, so this girl needs exercise!

I have also come to the conclusion that I am in dire need of lessons on Mae. I’ve known this from the start but it’s time to make it happen. There is no instructor or trainer at Mae’s stable. I checked with the instructors at the other stable (where I currently take lessons – so I am getting instruction, just not on Mae) but they won’t come out to teach me. They’re pretty tied down to the other facility and teach TONS of lessons, so I guess I understand why they won’t drive all the way out to this other place.

I’m currently in the process of working something out with another instructor. I’ve never had a lesson with him so I don’t know how it will be. I am vaguely dreading it, like he’ll take one look at my riding and declare me an unfit partner for Mae. But that’s not very realistic, right? Right?

What I’d love – maybe not at first, but eventually – is for an instructor to pull out the longe line (lunge, longe? I remember it as longe, but now I see lunge all over the place) and take away my stirrups and my reins. I realized that I haven’t ridden without stirrups AND reins since I was an 8-year-old kid in my first year of lessons. The thought scares the crap out of me, actually, especially since I suspect I rely on my hands way too much. I have ridden without stirrups recently in my other lessons, and I was shocked by how difficult it is. Once again, it comes down to me thinking I know more than I do/am better than I really am all because once upon the time I had a horse and was an avid rider.

You see, when I was younger, I went through a bareback stage. I rode my mare on the trail, galloped up hills, and went around and around the ring at a posting trot, all bareback. I guess I thought my leg strength/balance must have stuck with me from all those years ago. Ha ha. Think again. I tried riding Mae without stirrups once last week and let’s just say it didn’t go well. I am still half-convinced it has something to do with the saddle (excuses, excuses) but I felt so incredibly insecure I stopped and reached for the irons within like 20 seconds.

So anyway, wish me luck on finding a good instructor who is kind enough to not tell me I’m ridiculous for riding Mae and cruel enough to take away my stirrups and reins. And if anyone has any advice or stories about riding sans stirrups/reins, I’m all ears!