Deep Breath

Calm down. I repeat, CALM DOWN.

No, I'm not talking to you guys. That's a little pep talk for me because I can't believe I contacted someone about a horse! I emailed the woman who owns the draft cross mare. She wrote back with videos, photos, and more information. It turns out this horse is almost an hour and a half away, but I'm still considering going to check her out. (Who knows when, though, since my next two weekends are booked and I don't want to make that crazy drive after work.)

I'm a little freaked out that I'm actually considering going to look at a horse for sale. But this doesn't mean I'm necessarily buying...just thinking about it. :) But I feel so unprepared. If I go to look at her I might first go by myself, but if I ever get serious about buying her or another horse, I'll need someone more experienced to help me out. I know some people at Mae's barn and Other Barn, but am not really close enough with any of them to say, "Hey, you wanna spend an entire day driving to the middle of nowhere with me to help me consider a horse?" But if I do get serious about this, I'd find a way.

If I can cut out of work early today, I might have time to swing by that boarding stable I mentioned earlier. Hmm, for someone not buying a horse, I seem to be taking a lot of pre-horse-purchase steps, no?

Here's a recap of reasons I'm terrified to buy a horse:

1. Location/being tied down. This is also why I am not a homeowner. I've moved and traveled a lot and hate the thought of being tied down to one area. Never mind that I've been in this city for over 4 years now, with a job I like and have no plans of leaving anytime soon. On the other hand, one day I'd like to go to grad school, preferably across the country, and I want to feel free to do that. I also just plain want to end up on the west coast (or at least the mountain states) some day, and I originally thought it would be easier to wait until I made such a huge move before buying a horse. But who knows when that will happen? And yeah, I know a horse could come with me, but a long-distance trip like with a horse that sounds scary, expensive, and a huge hassle.

2. Money. As of right now, my finances appear capable of supporting a horse. But I am very careful about money and am used to save, save, saving it all the time. I wouldn't be saving anymore if I bought a horse! Plus, the economy sucks and there is always a possibility my job could disappear without any notice. I guess I could sell a horse if times get hard, but if they get even harder for everyone and the market becomes more difficult, what to do? Letting go of a horse would be difficult enough, never mind if you can't find a good home for him. Plus, if I wanted to go to grad school, how would I afford to keep the horse?

3. Time. I ride Mae an average of 3 times a week, sometimes 4. Might be more if she were closer. Admittedly, lately I've been thinking about riding all the time, and if I had my own horse on my own terms, I'd probably ride more. But 3 times a week also seems like a perfect half-lease situation.

On the other hand, I'd love my own horse, I think I'd be a good horse owner, I'd finally have the freedom to do exactly the kind of riding I want, and maybe I should just relax and go with it instead of over-analyzing and second guessing everything. So I don't know, but I can tell you that right now I am leaning toward doing it. Yikes!