The post where I inappropriately compare spooking to childbirth

So I realize my latest post was all about no fear, huzzah! but, well, these things come and go.

In the last month or so, Marve has freaked out and spooked more than I'd like to count. I'm guessing at least 5, maybe only 4....but probably five.

Some of them have been only at a medium scary level, but others have been downright terrifying and I can't believe I didn't fall off. Like one that happened a few days ago: People actually came up to me in the barn for the rest of the day and congratulated me on staying on that hot mess of a spook.

For the most part, I'm proud of my attitude. Once the spook is over, I immediately get down to business and get Marve back to work on whatever we were doing pre-spook. But I'm not immune to fear, as I find myself thinking back now and then to that really bad spook from a few days ago.

In general, I feel like riding out his spooks is kinda like childbirth. No, I don't have any kids, so I'm sure this analogy will be both offensive and inappropriate. :) But here's the deal: When the spook is actually happening, it's the worst thing in the world. As he starts to take off I can't believe how bad he's freaking out and how I am possibly going to remain in the saddle. My rapid, terrified inner dialogue goes: "What is wrong with me he has done this before and I knew how bad it was why did I ever get on him again in the first place I can't believe how bad this is NEVER AGAIN!" So, yeah. The spook is like being in labor, in case you're not catching on to my clunky analogy. :)

But then, once it's over and my heart stops pounding, it doesn't seem that bad and I gradually forget about how scary it was. I did stay on, right? And now he's being good. If I can handle that spook, just as I did the last two or three or four, then surely I can handle the next one that comes my way.

I forget the fear so much that it doesn't feel like a big deal to keep riding...but then when the next spook happens, my mind tells me, "You moron! Don't you remember how much this terrified you?"

So I don't know. I'm glad that in general, I'm not letting the fear consume me. But I don't like that little nagging worry about his last big spook. And in the end, I kind of feel like Marve is mine now, so I'm going to ride it out -- spook or no spook.

(But please, horsey gods, make it "no spook" for me, okay?)